Tall Cactus Reacts To: Poptropica Teaching Guides

This was originally going to be a PHB guest post! But…it got rejected. Because it’s too negative. I’m sorry, but the negativity and sarcasm was what made it so funny! So, all my hard work is not going to waste, and I’m posting it right now, right here, the exact copy from good ‘ol Google Docs. That being said, it’s not edited at all, so if itsays anything about the PHB, that’s why. Now let’s get this thing started!

WARNING: It’s SUPER long with a TON of pictures. Just sayin’…

Hey PHB readers! I’m Tall Cactus (as you saw in the title) and I’m doing a little guest post today, because I found some really funny stuff online that I want to share with all of you. So, one day I was working on a theory post for my blog. But then I somehow came across a website with Poptropica “Teaching Guides” on it, since Poptropica has so much educational info hidden in some of its islands that shouldn’t ever go to waste.

Let’s go find the site again, mhm, ok, lala…

typing sounds are heard

Ahh, there we go, it’s on some site called TeacherVision. I can already tell that this will be bad.

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Well there’s the URL if you want to check this site out yourself, as I’m not gonna look at everything in this one post.

Anyways, this doesn’t seem too surprising so far, just guides for Mythology, Mystery Train, and Time Tangled, some of the most educational islands on the game.

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Oh wait, there’s one more, I’m guessing it’s Wild West Island or something like that…

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Are you serious right now?! 24 Carrot Island is NOT educational, or at least compared to the other three islands. I need to check this guide out first.

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“Our Hero”?! We Poptropicans have real names, thank you very much.

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Are you sure kids will understand this kind of stuff? Even I’m confused about economics!

But this guide just gets worse and worse as they try way too hard to make 24 Carrot Island seem more educational than it really is…

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(Pretty sure Dr. Hare is a human, only his BRAIN is part-hare)

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Let’s teach kids about old horror movies!

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Dr. Jupiter…

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I’m pretty sure that everyone understood everything just fine, it was one of the first islands, nothing too complex. Why do adults keep limiting children’s potential?

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OK, that’s it. We’re moving on to the other guides. Dem Bones are just too much for me.


I hope these other guides will make more sense, as these islands are actually educational IN-GAME.

Let’s start with Mythology Island, cause why not? You can learn a lot in this island.

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Never mind, I was wrong. Just stop with the puns, lady! Because I’m sorry, but these guides are not anywhere near A-MAZE-ing. Actually, they are Ter-R.I.P.-le. Puns are to die for!

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Other than that, the guide mainly talked about mazes, coins, heroes, gods, and… that’s actually it. It wasn’t much more than what was actually shown in the island itself.

(BTW, the Mythology guide was WAY shorter than the 24 Carrot one, which makes no sense.)

Two down, two to go. Wish me luck, this is definitely cringe-worthy material. ANYTHING on a weird teacher blog/website is.

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Um, where’s the guide?! Wait, let me try something…


Well, I can’t find the guide. I guess they just never bothered to finish it.


Hopefully the Time Tangled Island Guide will actually exist. There’s only one way to see…

Wait, WHAT?! I’m getting the same screen?! It worked the first time I looked it up a few weeks ago. Oh…

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Another reason why teacher blogs/websites stink: most of them cost money.

I guess I’ll have to look up the Time Tangled and Mystery Train guides on another computer then. I’m not gonna bother with the 7-Day Free Trial. Sorry guys.

This post was too long anyways. I may make a second post with the other two guides on it, but if I don’t then you could just look it up yourselves, I don’t even know.

In the end, I have to say, if some teachers use Poptropica as a teaching tool, then why do a bunch of schools have the game BANNED or BLOCKED on all their computers? Makes no sense to me. Well, that’s all for now. Bye!

Tall Cac-

Wait a second…there’s another Pop guide on a totally different website?!

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This is too bad to be true. Part 2 of Tall Cactus Reacts to Poptropica Teaching Guides should come out sometime next month.

-The A-MAZE-ing Tall Cactus

Anyways, before I go, I just want to say a few things.

#1: The GHD post will either be in a theory format for Theory Thursdays tomorrow (not gonna have enough time for the Poptropolis one, the theory will actually be in my fan fiction in a couple of the episodes) OR next Wednesday. Not sure which yet, although it will most likely be tomorrow.

#2, regarding the Poppies: A LOT of community members have been asking many people, either on the blog itself, social media, or direct messages (I’ve gotten a few DMs myself on the matter) to nominate them or their blog to win an award. And, I’m one of the few people who hasn’t. Why? Because I find that doing that is not only selfish, but is actually annoying to other people, including myself. And though I’m not begging you to nominate my blog, I would be honored if you did. It should be your choice on who to nominate/vote for, I don’t think people should have to nominate/vote for a blog/person they don’t like just because that person asked or even begged them too. Sorry if I offended anyone.
#3: I know, I know, the 24 Carrot Review should have come out on Sunday. Look, I’m very sorry, but I not only forgot about it, but I was busy with both the other post for that day and my upcoming fan fiction. I’ll try to post reviews every Sundays, but just remember, it’s not a 100% guarantee.

And that wraps up today’s post, folks. Cya around!

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